For Self-Care Sunday today, enjoy this gem by contributor Kristina Demek from our "Relating in the New Earth" section featured in the Winter Spiritual Journal on page 72.

Bonding the Inner Masculine & Feminine

I was asked on a podcast, “What is heaven on Earth for you?” My response was, “If I could wish anything on everyone, it would be that they could experience inner harmony through divine union—between their inner masculine and inner feminine.”

The coming months offer a wonderful time for us to dedicate time to reflect on, establish, nurture and create our relationship with our inner masculine and inner feminine. It will be winter, when we tend to hibernate and enter seasonal celebrations, annual goal setting and celebrations of love.

I was first introduced to the idea that masculine and feminine energies reside in each of us through David Deida’s book, Intimate Communion. All men and all women have both masculine and feminine energies within. Whether we are aware of these energies or whether they are balanced is a whole other story. Most people reside in their boy/girl energy, versus their man/woman energy. This is a story of how I created my own divine union within.

Calling Each Other Into Existence

Five years ago, when I was well into my own spiritual journey and doing my inner masculine/inner feminine work, I realized that I needed to recognize and honor the presence of each of these essences in my life. Unsurprisingly, it was around Valentine’s Day. My ego must have been going through one of its mini pity parties, “Woe is me, I don’t have a date,” when I realized, I did have a date.

That date was ME.

My inner masculine and inner feminine could have a date!

As part of my date, I felt compelled to call into existence each of their essences in my life. I did this through writing a letter on Valentine’s Day. I bought a card for my inner masculine and inner feminine and wrote a letter to each. I wrote a letter to my inner feminine from the perspective of my inner masculine and recognized her for the work she was doing to heal her wounds, speaking up for herself and being open to receiving.

I wrote a letter to my inner masculine from the perspective of my inner feminine and recognized him for the work he was doing to heal his wounds and to step more powerfully into MAN (vs. boy) energies.

Holding Space for Each Other

Like any relationship, the relationship between our inner masculine and inner feminine experiences an ebb and flow. Triggers occur. Tantrums happen. Each must go through their dark night of the soul. Like any relationship, I have found it is best if your inner masculine and feminine are not at their lowest energetic state or both going through their deep work at the same time. Consciously and intentionally holding space for each other is important.

I recently went through a chaotic house situation (part of a larger spiritual journey this year) that required a swift redirection, intense action and incredibly firm boundaries. My inner masculine and feminine had a family meeting, and the result was basically that my masculine would be “on” for the duration of the situation and my feminine was going to step back, hold space and support. Which meant pampering, naps and other things that she does to receive and recharge were going to be put on the back burner. Near the end of the 10 weeks, I did a QHHT session to clear some energetic blocks, and there was an acknowledgement that part of this situation was to realize my inner masculine and feminine were together in sacred union, fully operating as a team, in loving support of each other.

Honoring Each Other’s Love Language

At some point over the years, I had an aha! moment about “love languages.” In the past, when asked about my love language (how I like to receive), I always said my two primary love languages were acts of service and quality time. This is still true, in general.

I realized though that my inner masculine and inner feminine have different love languages. I can blame this realization on gifts. I used to think I was not a gift person. Gifts were last on my list of love languages. As I began to make a more conscious effort to recognize and honor my inner feminine, I realized this bitch LOVES to receive gifts. Not only does she love to receive gifts, but she also loves to receive in general. Screw service. It is not my feminine that will clean the house and do the dishes. No, that is my masculine. My feminine likes to have dinner cooked FOR her, to have the house cleaned FOR her, to have flowers bought FOR her, etc.

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