Aristotle said “To perceive is to suffer.” Obviously, he connected through Newark on his way home to Athens for the holidays because no place offers a better opportunity to ‘perceive’ than an airport.

Airports. Like Costco, remind us that the balance between order and chaos in our society teeters precariously on the back of only a few rules—some explicitly written, some tacitly understood. We’ll leave the former to Morgan & Morgan. But when it comes to the latter, we’re all suddenly a Chief Justice. Our courtrooms are everywhere and our verdicts are swift.

Didn’t hold the door for the woman behind you carrying a newborn baby? Guilty. Didn’t follow standard 1:1 merging when crawling on the highway in rush hour traffic? GUILTY! Didn’t let the person buying a single pack of gum go in front of your overflowing grocery cart in the checkout line? GUILLLTTTTYYYYY!!!!

Like endlessly rewatching the same episode of Judge Judy, we already know the line up of defendants that will walk into our airport courtroom this holiday season.

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